


Last Year's Wishes Are This Year's Apologies

by bluemoongirl99



Category: Holy Trinity (YouTube RPF), PewDiePie (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF, Youtube - RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Cute, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, M/M, New Year's Eve Party, Overstimulation, Party, Smut, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:36:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9525857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoongirl99/pseuds/bluemoongirl99
Summary: After getting drunk and having sex with Jack, Felix wakes up alone.He goes to a New Year's Party to confront him, and see where it all went wrong.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wellthisisprettyrisque (collettephinz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/gifts).



> So like? I wrote this on New Year's as a present to my ever fav **Lettie**. (Honestly all I do on this account is gush about how great she is, because I mean, she's a wonderful human being.) I was not in the Youtube fandom at all when I wrote this, so I'm sorry about some of the glaring inaccuracies. Though, I am oddly proud of it.
> 
> Lots of hasty googling went down in writing this. I did learn that there is a lawyer in Kansas named Amy Nelson, and she is not Mark's girlfriend.
> 
>  
> 
> **Set in a world where Felix and Marzia moved to an apartment in LA, and Mark doesn't have liver problems, and is a cute happy drunk.**

“You know your shirt’s on inside out, right?” Marzia spoke as she stepped into the room. Felix looked up, and the hastily grabbed onto the collar of his shirt to see that no, she hadn’t been teasing, he had actually put his fucking shirt on inside out. He huffed, taking it off and rearranged it as Marzia giggled in the corner. 

She was wearing a tight-fitting black dress, with killer pumps. She was applying a dark lipstick in the Felix’s mirror that she constantly liked to confiscate. She said something about it showing all her pores, and reflecting light better. Felix, quite frankly, thought it was bullshit and that she liked stealing all his shit just to mess with him. 

She put the lipstick back into the tube, and wiped a smudged line of it off with her thumb. “What I don’t understand,” she said, straightening up, “is why you don’t just ask him out already?” 

Felix hissed, pulling on his righted shirt. He loved living with Marzia, and it beat the mind-numbing quiet of living alone. But fuck, what was it with girls always trying to fiddle with his love life. “It’s not,” Felix stumbled over his words, “it’s not that simple. We’re just. We’re friends. Leave me alone.” 

Marzia tutted, but then checked the alarm clock by Felix’s bed. “Alright well, we better get going if we want to get there in time for the ball dropping, and all that jazz.” 

Felix nodded, and slipped on his jacket that he had thrown on the floor the other day. Marzia gnawed at her lip. “If things don’t work out…” she trailed off. 

Felix stuck out his pinky. “We’ll be each other’s New Year’s Bro Kiss.” Marzia slipped her pinky into his, and gave him a small smile. 

“Something tells me it’ll work out,” she removed her pinky and went to leave the room, but quickly turned around, hair slinging over her shoulder. “Oh and if we do end up kissing, no homo.” 

_ _ _

 

The party was crazy. It was at some huge house in LA. Honestly, Felix couldn’t even remember who it was being hosted by. He just knew that a lot of Youtube people were going to be there - Jack included. 

He was in town, but staying with Mark. He would stay with Felix any other time, but they weren’t exactly on the best terms since what happened the last time Jack had stayed over. They both had too much to drink, and ended up hooking up. When Felix had gotten up the next morning Jack was packing his bags, seeming content to pretend that the thing between them - whatever it was - had never happened. 

In the weeks that followed Jack had been off, and barely seemed to want to talk to Felix at all. Marzia had consoled him the best she could, and whenever he complained to Mark, he always seemed cryptic. But since he was a neutral party that was to be expected. 

But Jack was back in LA and this was Felix’s chance to save things. He was willing to do anything Jack asked. He would get down on his knees and grovel if he had too. He just wanted his best friend back. He missed him. And getting to be friends with him was better than not having him at all, even though every part of Felix’s being fought hard against that idea. 

His stomach swooped as his eyes searched around the room frantically for a head of green hair. He was focused so hard that he jumped when Mark came up behind him and clasped a hand on his shoulder. “Hey buddy!” he said loudly, a beer in his hand. His face was a little flushed, and he looked halfway to drunk already. 

“Hey Mark,” Felix smiled. “It’s good to see you.” 

“Amy sends her well wishes. She’s sick so she couldn’t make it.” Mark said, he seemed a little less animated for a second, because he grinned brightly again. 

“Maybe now that Amy’s out of the picture,” Felix said, trying for seductive, wiggling his eyebrows and everything. “I can get some of that tasty markymark action.” 

Mark giggled, high-pitched, and Felix wondered how many beers he had actually gotten a hold of before he arrived. “I don’t think I’m the one you want to kiss at midnight.” 

Felix swallowed, eyes searching the room once more. “Is he here?” 

“Last I saw of him he was kicking everyone’s ass in beer pong. But I think the game dispersed so, your guess is as good as mine.” Mark told him honestly. Mark then sat his beer bottle down, and settled criss-cross-applesauce on the middle of the floor. Felix stared at him for a moment before Mark grabbed onto his sleeve and pulled him down with him. 

“I have no side in this,” Mark told him solemnly, his happy-go-lucky drunk demeanor gone for a second. “But I think you guys need to just talk this out like adults. I think this whole thing has been one big understanding. And honestly, I also think you’re both idiots who are too stubborn to let yourselves be happy.” 

Felix looked down at his hands, suddenly wanting to stand up and escape. “He’s the one who left.” He said, feeling like he needed to defend himself somehow. 

Mark only sighed in response. “Just fucking talk to him. Find him, and for Christ’s sake, kiss him when the ball drops. Or I’m gonna punch both of you in the face. 

Felix took a shaky breath. “Yeah. I’m just gonna-” he gestured towards the direction of the masses of people all dancing and waiting anxiously for the ball to drop, signifying the new year. He stood up and wiped off his pants, while Mark stayed on the ground, staring at his beer label like it held the secrets of the universe. 

Felix pressed through several people. For having bright green hair, Jack was surprisingly hard to find in the mass of people. He got stopped a few times along the way, and was forced to make small talk, making up some excuse or another to get out of their way. After what felt like hours he finally found a head of faded lime green hair. 

Felix pushed through the large sliding glass doors that led out to a porch that was pretty deserted for a party of this sort. The house was one of those LA kind that was right on the beach, so Jack stared at the waves, and moon that was resting over the horizon. 

“Hey,” Felix said softly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Suddenly he felt like his tongue was three sizes too big, and his stomach churned uncomfortably. He felt ridiculous. This was Jack for fuck’s sake. This was his best friend, and he was now reduced to a fumbling idiot, acting like he was talking to a twelve year old crush for the first time. 

Jack whipped around, clearly startled by the sound of Felix’s voice. “Oh hey,” he replied after a minute, before turning back. “How ye’ been?” he asked. 

It was so fucking formal that Felix wanted to crawl out of skin. Since when had they become this? Walking on eggshells around each other? He was sick of it. So he decided to take a blunt approach. 

“I’ve been better.” He replied, staring at the back of Jack’s head. 

Jack seemed startled by the response and turned around. “I’ve actually spent most of my time wondering what the fuck I did so wrong to get my best friend to not only ditch me, but start completely ignoring me.” 

Jack stiffened, his body taunt. “Fe-” 

He turned around, and he was so goddamn beautiful Felix couldn’t stand it. It made his eyes burn, and he was so angry he couldn’t breathe. “You know, if it’s only gonna be a one time fuck, maybe you should warn a guy next time.” 

His words were cold, but when he saw Jack flinch, all his anger dissipated. He didn’t want to hurt Jack. He didn’t want him to feel any level of the way he was. “I just can’t believe I-” he cut himself off. He stared out onto the horizon, and rubbed his hands over his face. He took in a shaky breath. “Look, if you don’t feel the same way about me, I’m a big boy, I can handle it. You don’t have to hide from me.” 

When Jack didn’t say anything, Felix turned around. So much for talking things out.

“Wait,” Jack yelled. 

Felix froze, but didn’t turn. 

“It’s not. Fuck, it’s not that I don’t feel the same way. You deserve someone so much  
better. I’m not leaving me home country, and you’re an LA boy now. We’d be countries apart. You don’t deserve that. Ye’ don’t want me.

“Fuck you,” Felix swore, crossing the distance between them. He grabbed onto Jack’s  
face. “I’ve been crazy about you since the day I saw your videos. Then was even crazier when I got to meet your hot ass in person.” He looked into Jack’s eyes. “If you think a fucking ocean is going to stop me you’re crazy. If anyone was meant for long distance, it was us.” 

“Ye’ gonna get sick of me screamin’” Jack protested weakly. 

Felix smiled. “If I’m the one causing it, I doubt it.”

Jack laughed high and bright. “Cocky motherfucker.” 

“I think you mean cockslut, but same difference.” He dropped his jokey demeanor for a second. “If you don’t want to do this. It’s okay. But I don’t want it to be that you think you don’t deserve me.” 

“I’ve always been living in your shadow Fe’. I wouldn’t be anywhere without that shoutout. Do you know how much that stings?” Felix closed his eyes, but Jack continued, softer. “But then there’s another part of me. A more selfish part. That wants to be with you. Who cares if you deserve better, you’re mine, I have dibs.” 

“Is your opinion of yourself that low?” Felix asked seriously. Jack wouldn’t meet his eyes. “God you’re so. You’re so funny, and beautiful. How could you ever think I deserve better, when you’re the best there is?” 

Felix had more to say, more gushing to do about Jack, but he couldn’t continue speaking because Jack had launched himself forward, effectively sticking his tongue down his throat. Felix was caught off guard, but not enough so that he wasn’t able to kiss back. He kissed back eagerly, hands traveling down to grab onto Jack’s waist. 

Jack groaned against his lips, and pulled himself closer. Felix trailed one of his hands up to rest on the back of Jack’s neck, playing with the hairs on his nape. He tilted his head and suddenly the angle was so much better, and fuck. Felix shoved him up against one of the banisters on the porch, so he had more leverage. He slotted their hips together so that they grinding against each other like a couple of teenagers trying to cram everything in before their parents got home. 

Jack let out a gasp on one of the grinds, throwing his head back, hitting the banister. “Fuck, Fe’” he said almost reverently. Felix pecked at his swollen lips before making his way down to his neck. Jack retaliated by grabbing onto his hair with both hands, pulling and tugging in a way of trying to ground himself against the onslaught. 

When Felix broke away from Jack’s neck they panted into each other’s mouths, though they jerked back and the sound of a crowd of drunk people yelling from inside. 

“TEN!” 

“NINE!”

“EIGHT!”

Felix smiled, burying his face into Jack’s neck as he listened to the cheering. 

“FIVE!”

“FOUR!”

“THREE!” 

“TWO!”

“ONE!”

“Happy New Year, Seán.” Felix whispered into Jack’s ear, causing him to shiver. Felix removed himself slightly from Jack’s frame so that he could look him in the eye. He cupped his cheek though, feeling the small traces of stubble against the soft skin. “Come home with me?” 

Jack sucked in a breath. “Yeah, I-”, he swallowed, “yeah.” 

They stumbled through the house of the party-goers. Most of them drunk, or at least, halfway to getting there. A lot of them were making out, using the New Year’s tradition as an excuse no doubt. Felix made eye contact with Marzia on his way out. She visibly did a double take at Felix and Jack’s linked hands. She raised her eyebrow, to which Felix only gave her a smug smile in return. She laughed, giving him a thumbs up, before turning back to the girl she had been making conversation with. 

Felix couldn’t resist putting his hands in the back pocket of Jack’s jeans as they stepped out of the house. Felix had called a taxi, his hands shaking, and voice unsteady as Jack gripped at his hips, and whispered filthy things in his ear. 

The LA air was brisk, brisker than usual. It still wasn’t anywhere as cold as Sweden was to him growing up, but he had grown accustomed to the never-leaving sun, and the warmth. He saw Jack shiver, and noticed that the Irishman was only in a flimsy t-shirt. Felix swore, and took off his toasty jacket, and placed it over Jack’s shoulders. 

Jack scoffed, trying to shrug it off. “I’m not a girl.” 

Felix hummed, stepping closer, pulling him in by his jacket. “But you like it when I fuck you like one.” 

Jack’s breath hitched, but they were startled apart by the blaring horn of their taxi. Felix smirked as Jack huffed, getting into the taxi. Felix rambled off the directions to his and Marzia’s flat. Though him and Jack tried to behave, they couldn’t help but let their hands wonder. The air was filled with electricity, and Felix wanted nothing more than to trace every inch of Jack’s pale skin with his tongue - hoping maybe of getting shocked. 

After what felt like ten years they finally arrived at Felix’s flat. They giggled like a bunch of schoolgirls getting out of the cab, and making their way past the doors into the elevator. Since it was empty, Felix couldn’t help but crowd Jack into the corner, and nip at the skin of his neck. “Fe’, there’s cameras,” he protested, but Felix just pressed his lips to his ear. 

“Good, we’ll give ‘em a show.” 

Jack laughed, pressing his face into Felix’s shoulder. “Kinky fucker.” 

The elevator dinged, and they stumbled out of the elevator. Jack walked ahead of Felix to get to his apartment. But Felix couldn’t help but notice his hips swinging. He didn’t know if it was his imagination or not, but they seemed to swing even more than usual. Felix couldn’t help but pin Jack to the door of his apartment. Slamming his back against the wood, and pulling on his hips. “God I can’t wait to get you in a bed. Spread you out and fuck you so hard. You’ll be wincing in your chair, and everyone will wonder what’s wrong. But I’ll know. I’ll take your ass to the airport in a few days, and you still won’t be able to walk straight.”

Jack’s breaths were ragged as he rubbed against Felix’s leg like a cat in heat. “Please, God Fe’, fuck me, fuck-” Felix fucking loved this. Seeing Jack completely lose himself until he was a complete wreck. 

Felix’s fingers fumbled as he got his keys out of his wallet. He made sure to press his entire body against Jack’s as he hastily tried to unlock the door. Finally, he was able to push it open, and they were falling inside. They barely got over the threshold before Jack was tugging at the bottom of Felix’s shirt. It was a button up, and Jack was having trouble with the buttons, and swore loudly, trying to get them undone. 

Felix took his hands away, and pushed the jacket off of Jack’s shoulders. Jack’s hands stilled, and he looked up. His normally blue eyes looked almost black from how much his pupils were blown. “What’s the rush?” He asked, giving Jack a smile. 

“Fuck you,” Jack said, reaching for the buttons again. “You were the one who was trying to feel me up at the party.” 

Felix chuckled, stepping into Jack’s space, as he toyed with the bottom hem of his shirt. “You didn’t seem like you didn’t like it.” 

He brought his hands to the button of his shirt, and unbuttoned them slowly. Jack mumbled words about him being a fucking tease, but - he didn’t want to rush this. He wanted to enjoy it. He wanted it to be slow, and to see Jack so fucked out he could barely move or breathe. He wanted to make him whine and beg. He didn’t want a repeat of the drunk rushed fuck that they had a few months prior. 

When his shirt was unbuttoned he slipped it off his arms, leaving him shirtless. He immediately reached for Jack’s shirt. He was significantly more underdressed than Felix. He was adorned in a plain t-shirt and jeans. But as far as Felix was concerned he could be wearing nothing but sweatpants and still be the hottest fucking thing he’s ever seen. He helped a Jack tug it off, and Jack’s hands made quick work of Felix’s button and fly. 

Jack immediately went to his knees, and Felix almost groaned at the sight. “Wanna blow ya,” he told him, giving him a small cheeky grin. He breathed his mouth of Felix’s cock, which was rapidly growing harder by the minute. Jack’s hot breath felt so good, he couldn’t even imagine how good the wet tightness of Jack’s mouth would feel like. 

But this wasn’t what Felix wanted right now. So, he grabbed Jack up by the arm, and hauled him to his feet. Jack looked so confused that Felix had to kiss him again. “Don’t want you to blow me,” he managed to gasp in between heated kisses. “I’m going to fuck you.” 

Jack moaned around Felix’s tongue, but Felix wasn’t done. “If you really are that hell bent on blowing me, you can do it in the morning, when your ass is so sore you’ll be crying if I fuck you again.” 

Jack moaned again, louder, and yeah, they really needed to get to a bed right the fuck now. “You’re all,” Jack breathed, barely able to get the words out around Felix’s lips, “talk.” 

Before Jack could say anything else, Felix picked him up, showing his strength. Jack wrapped his legs around Felix’s waist, and couldn’t help himself from blushing. He felt like such a girl for fuck’s sake. But instead of having time to ponder this, Felix was letting go of him, and dropping him onto a bed. 

Felix stood over him at the end of the bed. Jack sat up on his elbows, he couldn’t help that he wanted to look. Felix was bronzed skin and hard muscle. He had recently shaved his beard, but there was stubble growing in on his cheeks and chin. God, Jack never wanted to have someone between his legs so much before. He wanted Felix to get beard burn all over his thighs, and make him feel it for days. 

Felix slid off his jeans with ease, kicking them into some corner of the room so he was only in boxers. He decided that Jack needed to get rid of his pants as soon as possible. So Felix dove onto the bed, probably looking unsexy as hell if Jack’s loud laugh was any consolation. He immediately got the button and zipper out of the picture, and began tugging at his jeans. Jack squirmed as the denim rubbed against his completely hard dick, and wasn’t helpful to Felix’s mission of nakedness at all. 

Finally, Felix managed to get Jack’s pants off so that they were both on the bed, with only their boxers, panting. “God Seán, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed, fingers digging into the soft flesh around Jack’s hips and stomach. He scratched delicately over the red lines of irritated skin that the jeans he had been wearing previously dug into. He just wanted to have Jack’s thighs wrapped around his waist forever. 

Felix grinned when Jack squirmed, so he pressed kisses along his neck, and down his chest. A few of them he spent time on, turning them into purple bruises, going slow. He licked up a strip of skin on Jack’s stomach that was quivering. Jack was a mess, bucking his hips in the air, and fists tangled in the sheets, with his eyes scrunched closed. 

“I swear to God, Fe’,” Jack nealy swore, his teeth gritted. “If you don’t touch me right now I’m gonna fucking jack myself off without ya’”. 

Felix smiled, and slid off of Jack’s body, who let out a confused whine in protest. “What part of ‘fuck me’ did ya not get?” He continued.

Felix rolled his eyes. “What part of ‘lubes and condoms are required for sex’ do you not understand?” 

Jack quieted down then, when Felix rummaged through his drawer and finally pulled out a mostly full bottle of lube, and a strip of condoms. Felix kneeled down onto the bed, and got in-between Jack’s legs. After warming the lube by rubbing it in his hands for a few seconds, he poured a generous amount onto his fingers. 

He gazed up at Jack intensely, and wanted to keep this image of him in a special part of his brain. “I don’t remember much of last time but, you’ve fingered yourself before, right?” 

Jack rolled his eyes, “Yes, for fuck’s sake, you said you were gonna fuck me.” 

Felix circled his pointer finger around Jack’s hole, and used his other hand to spread his legs farther. As soon as Jack started to protest again he shoved the finger in. It met a little resistance, but the full body shudder that went through Jack was the best part. Felix peppered his thighs with kisses as he inserted another finger. Jack was rolling his hips back, begging for more. 

“C’mon, I’m not made of glass!” His hips shoved down on Felix’s fingers and his hand trailed down, as if it was gonna grab onto his cock. 

Felix took the hand immediately, and pinned Jack to the bed. He removed his fingers, leaving Jack open and wanting. “I’m gonna fuck you now.” 

Jack huffed out a laugh. “You’ve been saying that for an hour, and I’m still un-fucked.” 

Felix couldn’t help but chuckle as he reached for the strip of condoms, tearing off a single package. Jack made a small noise that had Felix looking up. “What’s up?” he asked.

Jack’s face turned red, even his ears were scarlet. “I was just, I’m clean, if you don’t want, we could-” he stumbled over his words hesitantly, not meeting Felix’s eyes. 

Felix held up the condom, “You don’t wanna use it?” 

Jack shrugged, face still red, but Felix could take a hint. He shoved the condoms aside, and crawled back so that he was on top of Jack again. “You want to feel me?” he whispered into his ear, pinning Jack’s wrist down again. “Leave you dripping, and crying from it? Wake up with dried come all over you. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” 

The only word Jack could get out was, “please,” and even that had his voice cracking. He felt like he had been hard for hours, and he was sick of all the teasing. He wanted Felix to prove good on his word, and fuck him six ways to Sunday. 

“I got you, baby,” Felix crooned, and reached for the lube again. He slicked up his cock and placed it at Jack’s entrance. Jack whined until he started sliding it in. Jack let out a long groan and his head fell back, until Felix bottomed out. 

Felix pulled out, and then slammed back in, setting a bruising pace. Jack cried out, and was so loud. But Felix loved it, he drank in all of his noises like a man dying of thirst. Jack’s hands scrabbled against Felix’s back, trying to hold on. He was making high-pitched noises with every thrust, and Felix could tell when he hit his prostate because he nearly sobbed. 

Felix grabbed onto his ass, and wrapped Jack’s legs around his waist for leverage. Jack’s mouth was open and it seemed the only things he knew how to say were “fuck,” and Felix’s name. He whined, and tried to reach down to grab his cock, but Felix stopped him. “You’re going to come, just from me.” 

Felix pressed kisses into the hollow of his throat, over the dark marks he had left earlier. “Gruva,” he whispered, “aldrig låta dig gå.”

“Close-” Jack moaned, his body jolting with every thrust of Felix’s. 

“Wanna see you come, baby,” Felix told him, speeding up the thrusts to an impossibly fast rate. “Du är alltid så söt när du cum.”

With those words Jack came, all over his stomach, some of it smearing along Felix’s as well. But Felix kept going, he wasn’t done. Jack practically mewled. He wasn’t rolling his hips anymore, but he was still making noises from the back of his throat. He whole body was languid and pliant, but yet he was still tight as fuck. 

“I’m going to fuck you,” Felix told him, bracing his arms above Jack’s head on the bed, “until you come again.” 

Jack grabbed onto Felix’s hair, and pulled him in for a kiss. It was more the mashing of their lips together than anything. They were too worked up and frenzied to be able to kiss for real. Jack gasped, and Felix noticed that he was hard again. Sweat was dripping down his forehead as he tried to keep himself from coming. He wanted to see Jack come again. He wanted him so fucked out he couldn’t walk, nevermind talk. 

“Så vacker som här,” Felix told him as he grabbed onto his hips had enough to bruise. Jack could only moan brokenly in response. 

“I don’t know what yer sayin’” Jack slurred, “but it’s hot.” 

Felix laughed, continuing to thrust. “Think you can come again for me, baby?” 

Jack groaned, eyes rolling back into his head. “God, God, Felix, Fe, I-” he lurched forward, burying his face into Felix’s neck as his entire body shook. His dick twitched against Felix’s stomach, and it seemed like he came, but he didn’t feel or see anymore come come out. 

“So good,” Felix told him, close to the edge himself, after seeing Jack come twice. “So fucking perfect.” 

Jack could barely keep his eyes open. “Want to feel you come in me, please.” 

With those words Felix let out a loud groan, coming inside Jack. He thrusted a few times before plopping down onto Jack’s warm and sweaty body. Jack snuggled into his body immediately as Felix pulled out. Jack’s hole was dripping with come and Felix wrapped his arms around him. 

Felix kissed the top of Jack’s head as Jack hummed sleepily. Felix couldn’t help his heart thumping in his chest. “You’re gonna stay this time, right?” 

Jack blearily opened his eyes, looking at Felix. “Yeah,” he said, flapping his hand helplessly until Felix grabbed it to hold onto. “I’m gonna stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment, and if there's anymore things I got wrong, let me know and I'll fix them right away.


End file.
